


Sunshine, please shine again...

by Hyunjjins



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Chan just needs a hug, Changbin is a bit of an asshole, Crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insomnia, Insomniac Bang Chan, Kim Woojin is Whipped, M/M, Panic Attacks, References to Depression, TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 7, Woojin is soft, based of similar experiences, but he gets better don't worry :(, mentions to some serious things in the background, soft hours, soft soft soft, this is mainly fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-10-05 12:30:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17325032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyunjjins/pseuds/Hyunjjins
Summary: Everyone knew Chan had bad sleeping habits.But when he collapses and the only one there to help him is Woojin, the oldest becomes determined to help Chan get better, and in the process begins to learn more things about them... and slowly fall in love with them.Meanwhile trouble brews within the group...





	1. The pavement's perspective.

**Author's Note:**

> SO.  
> I tried my best.  
> This was based on an experience I had a while ago where I collapsed due to exhaustion, after what felt like endless nights of sleepless wandering.
> 
> Anyway~~ please enjoy the first chapter.

Chan slumped over his desk, feeling defeated, his brain rattling with broken lyrics and coffee stained thoughts.  
His mind was an utter mess, he hadn’t left his office for so long, sunlight made his eyes water, and skin prickle with an unpleasant feeling of _warmth._

The computer thrummed along to the beat of his headache, torture to his already thin string of sanity, his hands shaking over the sheets of lyrics, eyes blurring the small Korean sentences scrawled over it feverishly.  
A few of the other members had expressed their concerns, but Chan made sure to brush them off with a smile and a nod, claiming he only had a little more work to do when he was done. 8/10 times it was a lie, and he always became adsorbed in his project to the point of obsession.

Maybe it was all those years of being a trainee. And always having to stress over deadlines and having to always push one’s self to stay in the classes.  
He sighed, dropping his head into his hands, realising it was useless to try read the papers any longer. Accepting he had reached his limit he quickly checked the time.

_3:45pm_

It was nearing the time for the whole group to leave soon and be driven home by company managers anyway.  
With a small grunt he slid off his chair, shoving his phone into his backpack by the door, and slipping on his shoes, he exited the stuffy office.  
He stepped into the company hallway, and locked his door, before wobbling his way towards the stairs, barely making it halfway before a voice stopped him, “Ah, Chan-hyung.”

The youngest member Jeongin had suddenly appeared beside him, a tired smile shining in his dark eyes with happiness to see their leader.  
“Jeongin-ah~” Chan cooed, still having enough energy to be absolutely smitten with the maknae.

The youngest tentatively wrapped their arms around his, resting their head on Chan’s shoulder and waited quietly for the elevator to arrive, probably with the same idea to leave a little early.  
Chan accepted Jeongin's affection gratefully, the motion even more meaningful coming from Jeongin due to his sensitivity to physical affection, letting him contently cling, knowing if he wanted to return the affection he would shy away. He was kind of like one of those shitty cats, the ones you wanted to pet and cuddle but always bit you- because they were actually pure _evil._

The elevator arrived with a ding, opening to reveal a sweaty group of dancers, Minho, Felix, and Hyunjin, who looked up in surprise as the leader and maknae stepped in.  
Felix merely nodded meekly, offering a small smile, but Minho and Hyunjin greeted them warmly- and loudly.  
“Innie, Chan-hyung!” Hyunjin greeted, raising his arms widely to engulf the youngest a hug, tearing them away from the leader.  
“Hnn,” Jeongin whined, trapped between Hyunjin’s sweaty arms, his wet hair softly pressing against the other boy's cheek. “You're sweaty.”  
“Hmm, I am,” Hyunjin said, relaxing his weight on the youngest with a content sigh, seemingly blanking the others in the confined space as the elevator doors started to close.

“Hey!! Hey, hang on wait up!!” they heard a call from the other side, Jeongin quick enough to jut out a foot to save the doors from closing, grunting with annoyance as Hyunjin almost necked him in a tight grip as he did so.

“Thank y- oh it’s you guys.” Changbin and Han were dressed in literally all black, looking like an incredibly emo pair, a single strand of Changbin’s hair standing straight up, Chan tried to suppress a snort, while Minho straight up honked like a rusty pipe.  
“What’s so funny?” Jisung asked with a puff of the cheeks, the two rappers squeezing into the last remaining space.  
“Oh, nothing...” Minho said with a wide smile.  
Chan smiled, covering his mouth with a hand.

Within no time the group had reached the bottom of the building and filtered out to reach the waiting black vans, their managers waving them down with smiles.

Chan pointed to each van already dividing them up like they had done a thousand times before, “Okay, Jeongin, Hyunjin, Jisung, and Minho you are in that van. And Changbin, Seungmin, Feli-“Chan wasn’t able to finish, a small voice interrupting his orders, “Actually can I go in the first van…”  
The leader turned to face the voice, to a surprise it was Felix. The boy was looking down, fiddling with his fingers shyly, rather strange behaviour for their usual sunshine to look so timid.  
Chan paused, staring at the other Australian, curious but too tired to be bothered to ask questions, simply nodding “Uh, sure if you want, Jisung you can go with Changbin, Seungmin, myself and Woojin-hyung.”

Jisung gave a thumbs up and hurried his friends into the nearest van, Hyunjin taking control of the others in the split group, a smile on his face as he gave a quick back hug to Felix, lifting them off their feet and comically carrying him to the van, causing Felix’s stone face to fall and reduce nothing but to giggles and Hyunjin's fingers nimbly dug into his flanks. The small group followed after the pair with wide smiles, chanting something about wanting to watch a movie and eat meat. _God why did his children have to be so expensive and want to eat meat all the time,_ Chan thought quiety with distain.

As the giggles faded behind the closed doors, Chan waved them off as they drove out of the car park, finally able to hear what Changbin was saying behind him, “Hyung… Woojin and Seungmin aren’t here yet, should we leave now or wait?”

Chan blinked, turning around with surprise, expecting both of the vocalists to just be standing right behind him or something. But Changbin was right Woojin and Seungmin weren’t in sight.  
“Let’s wait for a bit, if they don’t come, we can go ahead.”  
The rapper gave a nod, his eyes flicking to his feet, “Uh Chan… can I ask you something.”  
Chan furrowed his brows, he looked sheepish, with eyes downcast swirling with worry “Yeah, of course, you can always come to me, what’s wrong?”

Changbin quickly glanced behind him to check if Jisung was listening in, but they were engrossed in chatting to the manager, a wide smile covering his face as he playfully joked with them.

He scratched the back of his neck, refusing to meet the leader’s eyes, “I think I might have d- “Changbin never finished that sentence, as an elevator let out an echo of a ping.  
Seungmin.  
The vocalist stumbled forwards, sweat coating his forehead, a bundle of books clasped tightly in his arms. “I fell asleep while studying, I'm sorry,” Seungmin mumbled huskily, voice heavy with sleep. Chan gave him a smile, and gently patted his back comfortingly once he came close enough, “It’s okay Seungminnie, the van is over there, you can have a nap in there.” He finished kindly gesturing to the vehicle, knowing how hard the boy had been trying to learn English recently. He deserved rest.

Seungmin blushed, bowing deeply before scuttling off to join Jisung who jumped on the younger boy excitedly.

“What were you going to say Changbin? “Chan asked, turning back to his friend, to find them watching the two other boys with soft eyes “Ah- “Changbin uttered looking up realising his hyung was asking a question “Never mind, I will tell you later. When is Woojin-hyung getting here?”

Chan stared at the rapper a little longer, wondering if he should pressure him to continue, but from the looks of it Changbin had lost interest in the conversation anyway.  
In honesty, he didn’t know when the oldest member would arrive, from what he had heard he might be staying for extra vocal lessons, but it wasn’t confirmed which concerned him.

“You guys go ahead, me and Woojin will catch a taxi instead.” He said with a smile, feeling himself dissociating slightly from reality.

“You sure?” the rapper asked.  
“Yep, it’s fine, go on, see you all at the dorms soon.”

Changbin gave a nod and scurried after the awaiting two boys, who bombarded him with questions about the holdup and where Woojin was. Chan only just catching the last of their words as the door closed.  
He gave a big wave as they drove out, Seungmin popping his head out to yell a goodbye, before being shoved aside by a cheerful Jisung to wave back at the leader.

Chan smiled wide, a feeling of pride swelling in his chest.

It had been only a year, and he felt already so connected to his group, so in love with each of his overgrown children.  
Though some of the time he could punch them for being noisy and annoying, he loved them none the less, and wouldn’t change anything even for the world.

He sighed, and moved to sit on a bench near the edge of the parking bay, blinking the drowsiness from his stinging eyes.  
Chan didn’t know how long he waited, at some point he must have drifted into a state of unconscious, his mind wandering through unfiled thoughts, deadlines and song concepts.  
It could have been hours, maybe it was only a few minutes, but before long there was a sound that broke through his quickly snowballing thoughts.

“Hey. Hey Chan. Bang Chan…” he blinked, furrowing his brows at his shoes, _was that just a voice in his head?_ It sounded so faint and soft.  
“Christopher Bang.”  
He reeled back, suddenly awfully aware that indeed it was not a whisper of the wind or a voice in his head, it was Woojin and his honey voice. It had barely been a few seconds since he sat down right?

The use of his English name had startled him, bringing back bittersweet memories of home, the thoughts swirling like a thick fog in his tired brain.

The eldest member was crouched in front of him, head tilted, a small smile on the corners of his lips, beautiful dark almond eyes crinkled at the corners.  
Chan stared at them, his eyes burning with exhaustion, his body feeling incredibly limp.  
“You didn’t have to wait for me,” Woojin said, giving his knee a gentle pat before standing. “I already called an uber, it just arrived.”  
On cue, there was a sound of tires of tarmac, and Woojin stood up, motioning for Chan to follow them. The oldest waved the uber down, as it slowed to a stop in the underground pickup bay, assuming the leader was close behind him he started walking towards the sedan, a backpack swaying in his left hand.  
Chan pushed himself up, “Woojin…hyung.” his knees slightly wobbling underneath him in a way that made the world around him sway and distort.  
As to be predicted, he stumbled helplessly, looking much like an idiot as he hit the concrete hard, hands only just protecting him from the fall to his face.

Woojin who was only a few steps in front of him abruptly turned, total shock filling his expression at the sight of his friend sprawled on the ground shaking violently.  
It happened so quickly, Chan was so confused, less then in pain, he could feel the rising panic in his chest rise, the ground was so cold and unfamiliar. Gravel nipped at his hands, and at the skin on his knees between the rips in his skinny jeans.  
Where did Woojin just go? Fear made him shiver, weakness in his limbs causing him to just fall back down the little distance between himself and the pavement yet again, so utterly exhausted from the strain.  
The floor was no soft or comforting chest of Woojin, there was no cinnamon scent that wafted around him anymore, he felt his breath hitch.

Chan’s head was spiralling, thoughts so muddled and confused he couldn’t see straight, the only thing filling his vision was blurring together, the brake lights of the uber blending with the cool colours of the concrete.

Why was it hitting him now? It didn’t feel so bad before, why _now?_

He heard quick footsteps.  
“Chan are you okay what happened?” he heard Woojin ask, his presence suddenly ebbing besides him cloudily, his hearing picking out his sweet voice from the white noise.  
He wildly reached for them, needing solid human contact to try and ground himself mentally, his entire body shaking wildly, fingers barely falling over the fabric of Woojin’s coat before he had tightly latched on, knuckles white with the strain to compromise his now blinding exhaustion  
Woojin gently placed a hand on the weakened boy’s back, his face a mix of an inexpiable jumble of emotions.

Though Woojin and Chan where quite close, it wasn’t as much as people thought. They were both human, and often as the eldest’s of the group had to deal and take care of the younger ones, barely finding time to interact with one another through tight schedules, let alone through their free time besides over dinner.  
Though with that in mind, it was no big secret Chan had sleeping problems and had been quite open about both his insomnia and nightly struggles along with consistent overwork.  
This was Woojin’s first real look at it, however, and it was fucking scary.

Chan let out a mix between a groan and a childlike wail, so soft and pained it made his heart clench painfully.  
“Hey Chan, I need to take you to the van. And then you can just rest your head on my lap and sleep- okay?” he whispered, rubbing their back, aware of the stare of the uber driver behind him, and the scene Chan had created in the parking lot, a few fellow employees stopping to point and whisper.  
“Come on big boy.” He grunted as he slid his arms under Chan’s armpits, lifting them effortlessly.  
Chan mumbled something incoherent into his shoulder, their warm feverish breath fanning over Woojin’s neck.

For a strong and big guy, he doesn’t weigh much, Woojin thought.

“Sorry, let’s go, we will sit in the back.” He signalled to the woman driver.  
She nodded, giving a wobbly but visibly judgemental smile, that he tried his best to overlook, before jumping back into the front seat.

Woojin hauled Chan into the sedan, finding that they were easy to carry. With such a clingy nature, Chan truly earned the nickname koala. Still holding tightly onto his jacket Woojin had to place him down carefully on the car seat, closing the door behind him softly as possible, before joining in the seat next to him.  
“’M-I’m sor-sorry.” Chan suddenly said eyes still barely open, voice barely audible over the seat belt buckles snapping into their locks. “I am… I’m-“ the boy’s lip wobbled, eyes scrunching up tightly.

“It’s okay Chan.” Woojin said grabbing hold of their cold hands. “Get some rest, I will carry you inside when we get home, okay?”  
They nodded, eyes closed fully.  
“Can I still put my head on your lap?” they mumbled already beginning to sway as the car began to move.

“Of course.” A huge smile on his face as he guided Chan’s head to his leg, their hands still holding onto one of his, clutching it close to his face allowing their breath to fan over Woojin’s skin.  
“Channie-ah.” Woojin whispered, trailing his spare hand through the messy curls of uncharted hair, fascinated in the unbelievably soft texture, “When we get home, I am going to tuck you in okay? I’ll force Changbin to sleep on the couch or something, so you can have the room to yourself.”

Chan nodded slightly “Okay… will you stay with me please?”  
He smiled, captivated in the faded green curls and the way Chan’s eyelashes fanned off his pale cheeks like little angel wings before responding with a soft voice “I will.”

The words made Chan visibly relax, letting out a strangled breath, choked and heavy. The oldest gently stroking his arm to provide comfort, wishing nothing more but to nuzzle the soft curls but remaining in place- fully aware of the eyes watching him in the mirror of the front seat.  
“You can sleep now.” He whispered instead, in love with the softness and the delicacy of Chan’s hand’s around his own large and rough ones.


	2. "Sunshine,"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan can't handle it anymore...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FLUFFY DAMMIT.
> 
> Also, I wasn't expecting people to like this fic this much?  
> I am super sorry but this actually isn't my main fic at the moment, so I won't be uploading as frequently as I'd like, but I will try my best to keep it alive aaaa <33

There was a soft knock at the dorm door that stirred the relaxing group of kid’s snuggled on the couch. It looked a lot like a spaghetti bowl of limbs.  
The first to stand up was Felix, untangling himself from many of Hyunjin’s seemly never-ending lanky limbs before taking bouncy steps to the front door.

He turned the handle and peered through the gap in the door, nearly gasping at the sight beyond it.

Woojin was struggling to maintain both an incredibly clingy Chan, and juggle both their backpacks in individual hands (a true champion.) “It’s a long story, I don’t want to explain now, please help me with the bags…”  
Felix closed his mouth and nodded, taking the two backpacks from Woojin’s hands quickly as the ushered them both in, Chan heavily relying on the oldest to keep him upright as he dragged his feet.  
The three made it to the lounge, settling the whole place into an uncomfortable silence at the sight of the ghost-like apparition of their leader being half carried in by the oldest member.  
Woojin paused, giving a glance to the occupied couch, merely nodding before turning to help Chan to his room, giving up halfway and simply picking them up and slinging them over their shoulder, grunting with annoyance.

The Australian made no move to argue, hanging pliantly over their shoulder. The others watched in fascination and worry at how pale his sickly skin shimmered in the low TV’s light. His green curls slick to his forehead.

Felix let the bags down softly, craning his neck to watch the two disappear behind Chan’s and Changbin’s dorm door, before turning back to the rest, equally as confused.

“W-what’s wrong with hyung…” Jeongin asked, his voice soft to break the long silence.  
“I’m… not too sure Innie.” The youngest Australian answered, moving back to the couch, already being snatched back by Hyunjin who recently within the last few weeks had claimed Felix as a personal body pillow.

Hyunjin snuggled his head in Felix’s hair, flickering his eyes worriedly to the door, “Woojin hyung has it handled I think, we can ask later.”  
They all nodded, trying to resume the same atmosphere as before, turning back on their TV show, falling back into a more comfortable silence, the sound of overly dramatic sound effects drowning out their worries.

 

\- - -

 

Woojin placed Chan on the edge of the bed, giving them a quick pat on the knee “I am going to close the door- hang on.” he whispered, Chan reluctantly let go, eyes barely open.  
He hurried to the door, shutting it softly to hide away from prying eyes to see the leader in such a sorry state.

He moved back to help Chan with his shoes, giving reassuring strokes on the boy's thigh occasionally to keep them awake. “Channie, do you want to change clothes?”  
He glanced up, brown eyes melting Woojin’s heart- they just looked so utterly shattered. Bags shadowing his beautiful unique eyes, cheekbones high giving them an unusually sharp look for such a soft and gentle personality.  
Chan didn’t look like himself.

“Yeah…” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“Okay sunshine, hold on.” Woojin turned to Chan’s closet, a little unsure what to be looking for, he knew Chan had some pyjamas- or at least a set of clothes he wore to bed often.  
Chan, on the other hand, blinked tiredly at the sudden use of a sweet nickname, cheeks dusted with a pink, he’d be lying if he said the use of the word ‘sunshine’ didn’t make his heart do a little jump.

The oldest turned back around, a simple black tee with the sentence ‘unamused and disappointed’, printed on the front in bold font, and a simple pair of track pants.  
“Here, do you need help putting it on?”  
He shook his head, taking the clothes tentatively, Woojin turned around to also take his shoes off and his jacket while the other changed slowly, and drowsily.  
After he changed, he turned back around to find the oldest sitting on the floor, back facing him, shoes and clothes neatly tucked at the edge of the door.

“You can turn around now…” Chan said blinking slowly, a little surprised by Woojin’s courtesy as he wobbly made his way to go sit back down on the bed. 

Woojin’s hand suddenly appeared and rested on the centre of his chest as his bodyweight tipped mid-walk, steading him “Easy.”  
The leader a little startled, must’ve not noticed how much he was tilting, grateful for Woojin’s attentiveness, lest his nose be broken by the corner of the bed.

His hyung guided him to the sheets, sitting down next to him softly.  
“So…” Woojin started, “Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to just relax?”  
“Relax. I d-don’t want to explain right now,” Chan said, his voice coming out shaky and hoarse.  
“That’s okay, what do you want me to do to feel better, Channie?” he asked facing him, resting a large hand on the back of his head in a comforting manner, fingers trailing through his green curls.  
Chan paused for a moment, leaning into the touch he replied, “Just cuddles.”

There was a small silence, enough for Chan to realise his own words, shocked by the drowsiness that allowed him to slip from sanity- he couldn’t ask Woojin something like that, that’s incredibly rude to ask of his hyung.  
Woojin and he were not exactly a cuddly pair, and Chan hadn’t admitted yet to anyone he liked physical affection. Besides from immediate family he never really had much to do with hugs after becoming a trainee. And even as the leader of Stray Kids.

 

He gapped like a fish, trying to find a proper apology, but was interrupted by an arm being slung over his shoulder, pulling him into the warmest and most welcoming hug he had ever experienced. Woojin's hands already beginning to stroke through his hair and up and down his back as he shifted to push in closer.  
“Okay, cuddles it is.” Woojin’s voice filled his mind as his ear pressed against their broad chest, taking in the way the sound resonated with his mess of a mind, and calming it back down to rationality.

He sunk into the feeling of the embrace, clinging to them, desperate for the affection he so desired for many days, months, and years without properly.  
This wasn’t a hug given out of pity, nor was it out of friendship, not of romantic, or family.  
It was simply a hug for him, and only him.  
Woojin pulled them onto his lap, smiling at the sudden change of personality, he knew Chan liked hugs, but this was just adorable.  
“My little sunshine… I am right here, it’s okay now.” He whispered in a sing-song voice.

Chan shook, letting tears flow down his cheeks, it felt never-ending, they just kept coming. He tired his best to not drop them onto Woojin’s shoulder, repetitively wiping them away with his arm sleeve, disturbing the comfort of the hug every few seconds.  
“It’s okay to cry, let it out,” Woojin said, rubbing down his back, as for the tenth time Chan went to wipe the tears away.

“It’s okay,”  
Chan sobbed harder, letting out a frustrated horrible strangled sound into their shoulder. Probably loud enough for anyone in the dorms to hear it- but god he didn’t care anymore. Chan was and always had been a rather aggressive crier, they always came out heaving and awful to watch, he hated how he cried- but right now he couldn't channel it or try stop, his emotions sweeping him up and leaving him dazed. Luckily Woojin didn't care much, and only rocked back and forth, resting his head atop his.  
He sobbed and wept and wailed, till his head grew dizzy and all he felt was a dry throat and stiff tear dried cheeks, eyes burning, and nose red from rubbing it so much against Woojin’s hoodie.  
Eventually, he was left with the occasional hiccup, Woojin’s soft musical voice helping him relax, the large hands continuing to rub up and down his back to calm him back down.

Chan felt ashamed for breaking down, but he couldn’t bring himself to remove himself from Woojin’s arms, too comfortable and tired to consider it much further than a concept. “I-I am s-sorry, Woojin-h-hyung.” He said through hiccups, trying not to drip more snot onto their hoodie.

Woojin patted his hair, “It’s okay, little stardust.”

 

Where are all these nicknames coming from? Chan wondered, pulling away to wipe his eyes and look at Woojin.  
The oldest was looking up at him, sitting on the eldest’s lap gave him a height advantage that he hadn’t had before, yet it made him feel even smaller somehow as Woojin’s perceptive and warm eyes darted across his tear-streaked face.  
” Stardust? Sunshine?” he asked, rubbing his cheeks of tears best he could. 

The boy smiled, his shiny white teeth showing between those cute little lips, “You remind me of them. Sunshine for your personality, Stardust for that one time you put sparkles above your eyes- it suited you.”

Chan smiled lopsidedly at Woojin’s cute reason and meaning behind the nickname. Chan loved that time the stylists let him wear glitter above his eyelids, during every opportunity he got he showed it off with long blinks and zooming in with cameras to highlight them slyly.  
The actions must have been noticed by the older, not that Chan was surprised, he probably flaunted them more at Woojin than anybody else that day.  
“Thank you, Woojinnie.”

“Anything for you, you sleepless idiot.”

“I sleep, shut up,” Chan mumbled non-threateningly hiding his face from their view.

“Oh? So violent for someone who just addressed me as ‘Woojinnie’ without any ‘hyung or ssi like normal.’”  
“I uh- “Chan stuttered worriedly, as he fiddled with his fingers, usually he was quite firm on using honorifics with Woojin, usually using ssi than the occasional hyung.  
“Haha, don’t worry about it, it’s nice hearing my name without ‘hyung’ or 'ssi' once in a while. Since we live in a house filled with younger boys.” 

Woojin beamed up at him, his eyes crinkling at the corners delightfully.  
The leader smiled back, tiredness relapsing back over him as he allowed himself to sink back down into Woojin's arms, nose buried in his neck, as his arms and legs attempted to pull himself impossibly closer.  
Woojin let out a heartfelt laugh, the musical sound filling the room, changing the sad fog that had filled it after Chan’s breakdown. Chan felt relieved, letting out a long wonderful sigh and letting himself sag in their hands, nuzzling his head into his neck, trusting him fully to take care of him and keep him safe.

“You can sleep now my Channie, rest your rays of sunshine for tomorrow. I’ll be here to wake you up.”  
Chan smiled one more time into the crook of Woojin’s neck, letting the sound of their gentle breathing and heartbeat allow him to slip into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed if you are interested in my other/main fic here's the link to it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17281385/chapters/40642910
> 
> (It's a fluffy, angsty Hyunlix fic that revolves around lots of cuddles, and tears, with nearly over 10k written in advance you can expect more frequent updates there than here uwu~ Keep in mind this fic is not at all discontinued, I am just gonna b hella busy ㅠㅠ")


	3. Breakfast, and confessions of affections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say... plot twist?
> 
> No? Okay just me. Have some pancakes instead :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually really enjoying writing this, this took a little while but I am glad it is finished! Boi  
> This entire chapter was fueled by my desire for pancakes, so suffer with me.

Woojin stared down at Chan, the sunlight from the open window gracing the boy’s green curls with a satin angelic glow.  
He threaded his fingers through the mop softly, taking in their details with interest.  
How relaxed and different his face seemed asleep was one of the most shocking transformations he had really seen, now up close he could see the usually tightly knit brows where slack. And the bright eyes, his windows to the world, shut till they next stirred.  
Each breath they drew in so whispery thin, and peaceful. It was a pleasant change from the events that happened last night. Images of Chan dry heaving with sobs flashed into his mind, causing him to instinctively flinch- he didn't want to think about that quite yet.

Woojin sighed, removing his hand, turning to check the time.

_9:45am_

He groaned inwardly, even if he had been awake for nearly two hours he really didn’t want to get up, rather stay in bed the whole day and sleep next to Chan comfortably. Alas, the house to otherwise burn to ashes if the children tried to make their own breakfast, however.  
You would assume a group of 18-year-old and up could cook without burning things? Think again.  
You obviously haven’t met _Stray Kids._

With a bit of effort and contemplation, Woojin managed to haul himself from the bed’s warm and inviting sheets, away from Chan’s side.  
The hallway was empty, none of the doors open. Probably everyone taking advantage of the day off to rest back up. Woojin couldn’t blame them, especially not the dancers, who had been working ungodly hours to improve their skills for the next comeback.

He hurried to the kitchen, deciding to make breakfast earlier to hopefully encourage the kids from their beds, without motivation they never leave otherwise.

 

The kitchen was empty, cleared of dirty dishes and cups (heavens bless, a rare occurrence in the house.) He scanned a cookbook provided to him a few months back by Chan when the leader had half-heartedly handed over the cooking duties to Woojin, unexpectant of the immediate take over of his role. Woojin had become the only one outside of Felix and Chan to be allowed to cook…  
The rest of the boys were beaten out of the kitchen with a broom for their own safety, (Hyunjin had set fire to 1 to many tea towels.)

A highlighted meal Woojin had recognised from many western TV shows, and coffee shops, sidelined with neat English handwriting, which indicated it was probably Felix’s doing.  
“American pancakes,” He mumbled, happy to find the ingredients in the kitchen matched the requirements.

Within minutes he had created the batter and was working hard to create enough for 9 hungry boys, including himself, which increasingly.

It didn’t take long before he heard the soft sound of doors opening, and the familiar prying eyes on his back from the edge of the kitchen pass.  
“Good morning,” he hummed as he flipped a pancake, fully aware of the presence of who he assumed was Jisung and Jeongin spying on him.

“Morning hyung…” Jeongin said sheepishly, with eyes glued to the growing stack of pancakes.

“Can you two fetch the others other than Chan? I will wake him myself.”  
The pair nodded and skittered off excitedly down the hall to wake the others.

Within minutes the kitchen and dining room was being filled, plates and utensils hurriedly being handed out along with condiments and the occasional scuffle as they bickered over the pancakes they called dibs on in advance.  
Woojin smiled, untying his apron and hanging it up, taking breakfast to the table, careful not to bump into the other bodies at the table.

“Enjoy, thank Felix for dog-earing the page it was on.”  
Hyunjin squealed, “Thanks hyung, thanks Lixie!! Can we eat now please?” eyes pleading as he pouted his plump lips up at the elder with sparkling wide eyes.  
“Yes, of course, eat. Leave some for me and Chan, I am going to wake him up,” He said smiling, but pausing before even a single fork could land on an inch of pancake “But… if I get back and you have eaten all of what I’ve made for you- without saving us some. Don’t ever expect me to ever, and I mean, ever make you breakfast again.” The eldest's tone not even changing a pitch, but a dark foreboding aura rolled off him in waves, threatening and foreboding.

There was a small clatter as a knife accidentally was dropped on a plate, leading into deep silence.

“O-ok hyung.” Jisung managed to squeeze, eyes huge at how scary Woojin could be- without even noticing it- was incredible.  
Woojin continued to smile threateningly, before heading back to where Chan was currently sleeping, leaving the boys and eat at a slower pace.

He gave a quick rap on the door before opening it, peeking inside to Chan’s bed.

Chan was still fast asleep but now curled on his side, snuggling the doona’s covers close, hair messy and scattered over the pillow.  
Woojin approached them quietly, smiling as he moved to crouch beside them, “Hey Channie…” he whispered.  
The boy mumbled in his sleep, and Woojin repeated, putting a hand gently on his shoulder “Come on Chan, I made breakfast, come eat.”

 

Chan opened his eyes slowly, he looked a lot better than last night, eyes bright and sparkly, facial features looked more like his own and not that of a person on their deathbed.  
He looked up and his hyung, taking a few seconds to process before skittering to sit up “Woojin?” he slurred looking surprised as he attempted to wake himself up mentally. Woojin made no more movements to disturb him while he rubbed the sleep from his eyes hastily, trying to make himself more presentable.  
“W-what happened last night…? Did… did it all really happen?” Chan started shakily, looking down.

The eldest nodded kindly, “Yes, you fell asleep, I decided to sleep with you since you didn’t let go,” His words fond and warm.  
Chan groaned, flopping onto his side, “Oh my god, I am so embarrassed… sorry hyung…”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s probably the best sleep I have gotten in a long time,” He said patting their knee letting out a laugh. “Anyway, breakfast is on the table, and I don’t know how long the food will last with those boys’ so hurry up.” 

Chan nodded and slipped off the bed to follow him groggily to the kitchen, hiding behind Woojin as all 7 heads at the table turned to look at him. The group’s eyes filled with worry, making him cringe. He almost forgot the sorry state they had probably seen him in when Woojin got him home- not that he was particularly conscious for that part of the trip to remember, but his mind was free to create ideas…

“Morning hyung.” Called Jisung, oblivious to the suffocating atmosphere in the room, mouth full of pancake and syrup.  
“Good morning Jisung,” he returned, pulling out a seat between the squirrel boy and Woojin.

Quietly he observed the table, set out with two full stacks of pancakes, condiments of sugary taste, and butter. He quirked a brow and glanced at Woojin out of the corner of his eye.  
Woojin was busy handling the kids, wiping the table as they made a mess and scolding them when Minho spilled some of the jam over the plates with a quick flick on the forehead. Received by a loud “ah” and “oh’s” from the other members in sympathy and humour.  
Dejected Minho was declared as the cleaning boy for when breakfast was done.

Chan let a smile crack, the rambunctiousness of the breakfast scene setting him in a more relaxed state of mind as he realised the group wouldn’t push him for answers for his last night return.  
Sighing in relief he reached for some pancakes, ready to start the day- this time with a few hours of sleep behind him, and uncommon occurrence which he lavished in when he realised, he could read the jam labels from across the table instead of a few centimetres.  
The blessings that sleep can give you, he thought absently spreading strawberry jam and cream on his pancakes.

 

At the end of their very loud and cheerful meal, with Hyunjin and Jisung being the frontrunners of said noise, the plates were taken away by the very sulky and moody Minho, while the maknae line wiped down the table.  
Chan sat down on the loungeroom’s couch, the sound of clacking plates and Hyunjin and Jisung’s enthusiastic chatter about the new-found food ‘pancakes’ behind him, he lay back sinking into the pillows.

He felt the cushions dip as a new weight fell onto the couch, causing him to crack an eyelid.  
“Did you like breakfast?” the newcomer asked, Chan’s eyes focusing to see it was Woojin.  
He had an arm rested nonchalantly on the ridge of the couch, a hand pressed under his chin as he watched him intently, eyes sparkling with a hidden smile.  
The leader grinned, “Yes, reminded me of home... Where did you even find the recipe by the way?”  
“Ah,” the hyung stated, his mouth forming an o, “I found it in one of the English cookbooks, I think Felix dogeared it.”  
Chan let out a laugh, “Of course it was Felix, that boy has a massive sweet tooth.” Settling the pair into a comfortable silence, though the world around them more like a whirlwind of screams and clacking of falling cutlery- it was muffled by a sense of normality.

 

 

“Chan’s asleep?” Hyunjin called, peering over the edge of the couch comically, startling Woojin from his book.  
“Jesus, Hyunjin give some warning next time- yes, yes Chan is asleep.” he whispered, gesturing to Chan who had been drooling on a pillow for the last half an hour.  
Turned out that long sleep still wasn't quite enough, and minutes after breakfast the boy had fallen back asleep. Not that he was complaining, much the opposite, but still it was surprising to see the leader so vulnerable like this, even if he did sleep curled next to them only a few hours prior. Rarely did he sleep outside his room- if ever. “Sorry hyung.” The boy quivered, dipping his nose back behind the couch, staring at him with puppy eyes.  
“What did you want?” Woojin said, looking back to his book, knowing the glimmer in Hyunjin's eyes when they wanted something all too well… much money had been scraped out of his pocket to feed Hyunjin his love of blueberry muffins, _(of all things, right, muffins?)_

“I wanted to ask you something… it’s… kind of embarrassing.”  
The oldest furrowed his brows, glancing back up with slight surprise to find how genuine the boy's face was, his cheeks red, as he nervously fiddled with the strings on his favourite black hoodie.  
“Okay,” Woojin said slowly, patting a spot next to himself, shuffling over to sit closer to Chan’s sleeping figure, “what is it?”

Hyunjin sat down with a huff, looking slightly lost on how to continue.

“Take your time.” He said, setting his book aside and on top of Chan’s back, blessing his broad shoulders for making such a lovely coffee table substitute.  
“I think I like someone…” 

There was a long pause, as Woojin allowed the words to fully sink in. Normally he would parade him around on his shoulders, pinching his cheeks and telling him how cute they were to be embarrassed about something so normal.  
But they were idols, it was difficult to date if at all, relationships shattered like wine glasses by companies and media. Love wasn't easy with the life they had chosen, and something about Hyunjin’s tone gave away it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows anyway.  
The light afternoon sunshine dusted the room in a deceivingly heaven like glow, silence becoming thundering as Hyunjin took a shaky breath, the wisps of sunlight gracing his downcast features.

 

“But…” he continued slowly, looking fragile as his voice dipped lower, afraid maybe someone would hear despite the peace and quiet that blanketed the dorm.  
“It’s a boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOooooOOoOOo bet you weren't expecting that wERe YOu?  
> I wonder how many of you have noticed the background story? It's clear once you start taking notice hehehehe.
> 
> Anywhoozles~~ I am hoping to write the next chapter as soon as possible, so please point out spelling mistakes, (this includes if I swap between tenses, I'd really appreciate that so I can make my fic more enjoyable to read, thank youuuuu~~ ㅠㅠ)


	4. "Hyung."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It was a slip of the tongue."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god it has been ages since I updated I am really really sorry!!!!  
> I've been super focused on another fic of mine and totally forgot about this one ㅠㅠ forgive me

Chan woke a few hours later, confused by his surroundings.  
There were a few distant noises as the dorm slowly became more lively with each waking member. The sound of Hyunjin’s loud laugh filling his ears, and Felix’s giggles as the two wrestled over a bag of chips only a few meters from the couch he was attempting to sleep on.  
Woojin was no longer at his feet, now occupied by Changbin instead, who was angrily glaring at the two over the top of a book he was trying to read.

“Ah. Hyung, your awake?” Felix asked suddenly catching Chan’s open eyes blinking blearily at them.

He hummed in response, stretching his arms out a little bit with the provided space, yawning loudly. “Where’s hyung?” he asked sleepily, rubbing an eye.  
There was a heavy pause that followed, causing him to lift a brow.  
“Uh… he went to the shops.” Hyunjin answered, looking slightly perplexed.  
“I see.” He responded, reaching for his phone to check the time. Turns out it was 12:38 am, to which his eyes boggled, he napped for two whole hours and nobody woke him up? Had his children grown independence? Or was he hallucinating?  
He set it aside shaking his head, and looked back up, noticing that the three other boys’ were still looking at him intently.  
“Why are you all looking at me like that? Do I have drool on my face or something?” Chan asked as the stares continued even when he maintained eye contact with them.

“You called Woojin, ‘hyung.’ You never usually call him hyung…”

Chan blinked, it was true. Usually, Chan gave them honorific’s like ssi, rarely did he use hyung to refer to Woojin to the others, or when the oldest wasn’t present.  
It just always seemed a little strange too, since they were rather close in age, and more like co-workers than brothers or best friends.  
He back peddled mentally, trying to collect a reason for why his sudden change in honorifics had slipped his tongue, “Uh… me and Woojin have been talking a lot more- and um…”  
Well, it wasn’t a lie- not really. It was true, he and Woojin had been talking more, and been closer than usual, so why was he suddenly so flustered?

Felix gasped leaning forwards “Did you fin-“ but a firm palm was slapped across his face before he could continue, Hyunjin smiling awkwardly as the Australian attempted to scrabble out of the grip.  
“So, Woojin asked me to call him hyung more instead.” Chan’s tone was uncertain, but straight to the point. 

“He did? I thought he said he didn’t like being called hyung by you Chan… since your age gap isn’t that big.” Changbin pushed, a smug look of ‘knowing’ on his face, setting his book aside to stare at the leader with sharp eyes.

 

Before Chan could respond there was a bang as the front door swung open, the sound of plastic shopping bags crinkling and boots stomping.  
“Hey guys, I’m home.” Called a honey sweet voice called from the doorframe, that made him sick. The voice that usually he jumped to want to hear, he now quivered, eyes being torn off him and onto the newcomer. God, this was embarrassing.  
“Hi hyung,” Felix purred looking up, eyes sparkling as Woojin set down a bag of groceries. “Did you get the things I asked?”

Woojin nodded, sliding his big woollen jacket off, hidden underneath was a beige turtleneck that fit so damn well around his frame Chan wanted to internally scream. What was with his man and wearing turtlenecks that made him absolutely soft?

“Yes I did, and I Hyunjin’s flowers as well.” He smiled as Hyunjin rushed up to take a bouquet of white lilies off the eldest, giggling as one of the petals brushed his nose. Hyunjin squeaked his thanks and dipped into the kitchen to place them in a vase.

Felix bounded up next, rummaging through the bags, until he found whatever he was looking for and drew up, making a little victory noise before running into the kitchen after the other dancer to show them.  
“And Chan, I got you some headache tablets, I know how it bothers you. And some snacks as well.” Woojin said, suddenly reappearing before Chan’s eyes, holding out a Shikhye drink, and a prewrapped custard sweet potato bun- his favourites.  
Chan took them hesitantly, looking at his favourite snacks with wide eyes, before flicking them up nervously to the oldest, “Ah- thank you Woojin… _hyung.”_ The words felt sloppy and stupid rolling off his tongue in that sweet tone, nervous as Changbin’s eyes drilled deep into the side of his head.  
Woojin blinked, looking a little shocked, but it didn’t last too long, and it was gone before he could fully capture it. Chan’s cheeks flaring a deep shade of red, hiding his face by looking down at the food on his lap.  
But Woojin followed him, leaning over the edge of the couch to whisper close to his ear, breath fanning over Chan’s skin “No problem, baby boy.”  
The words were like torture, he felt so flustered as the eldest leaned away, a look of confidence in his features.  
Chan could feel Changbin’s eyes, just throbbing into his brain and soul.

 

“Woojinnie hyung please help, Hyunjin’s gonna break something!” Felix called, voice distressed.  
Woojin seemed to drop the act a little, it seemed he was enjoying playing with Chan, sighing he pushed away and lumbered into the kitchen to save Hyunjin from smashing one of their few vases in the house.  
“Coming.” He called as he turned the corner, disappearing from Chan’s sight.

 

“You two are absolutely disgusting, just make out already,” Changbin said with finality after a beat of silence.  
Chan never launched a pillow so hard in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh? What's this?  
> Woojin??? being dominant?  
> The shit I live for~~  
> Next chapters might be a little saucy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
>  
> 
> On another note! The snacks I mentioned are Korean snacks (I did some research lol)  
> Shikhye is a type of malt drink with rice bits in it. It looks really good ;;  
> And the custard buns I mentioned have a custard centre, and a sweet bun surrounding it (aLSO LOOKS DELICIOUS!!!)  
> I was very hungry when I researched these snacks oml ㅠㅠ  
> If you wanna check out other Korean snacks and torture yourself just like I did here's a cool website for it lol: https://blog.snackfever.com/2016/04/best-controversial-korean-snacks-so-far/


	5. Jelly legs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan finds his schedule wasn't meant to accommodate for proper sleep, and now moves his choreography sessions late into the night.  
> Only Woojin has other thoughts about the ordeal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> Sorry I was gone for so long, I was hospitalised for awhile with extreme anemia.  
> I actually had most of this written out before then but forgot to post it, (but thanks to a comment I received I was reminded of it and was like well hey it's basically done so I should post again!)  
> So here it is <3

So maybe Chan had been sleeping more often.  
And maybe his life depended on not sleeping to be productive, he never planned to actually be a normal person and sleep regular times… so there was a teeny-tiny problem when he realised, he always practised late at night for choreo and had the rest of his days booked to the brim with other work.

He had been working since 9;30pm, it was now 2;23am.  
Needless to say, he was tired, but still trying his best to persistently drill the movements into his mind, trying to get down a week’s worth of slacking to a few hours.

Chan sighed, finally allowing himself to drop to the floor and let his tired limbs rest for a bit.  
The studio was empty of the other members, who were hopefully all back at home and asleep by now… unlike himself.  
He took a long swig of his water, trying to quell the dry feeling his throat, tired of panting and wheezing.  
After a few minutes, Chan decided to start again, jumping straight into the middle of the choreo, trying to perfect the hip thrusts, and arm movements.  
But everything just felt slow, and sloppy, with each repetition he could feel his sanity slipping, annoyed to how he couldn’t have perfected it by now when the rest of his group did weeks before him.  
Time passed as a blur, god knows how much longer he had been dancing for, he had become so tired, his mind so hazed and muddled, Chan didn’t even notice the figure standing in the doorway behind him clearly visible in the mirror.

“Chan.”

He didn’t hear them.

“Bang Chan.” The voice came again, causing Chan to pause, curious if he had finally snapped and started hearing voices.

“Channie…” 

He jolted, a pair of hands suddenly rested on his hips, grounding him from behind.  
“Chan, why are you here at this hour?”  
Chan peered behind him, focusing fully to see it was Woojin, who looked somewhat dishevelled, a black hoodie covering him baggily, looking incredibly soft, eyes worried.  
“Why am I here? Why are you here?”  
“You weren’t picking up your phone… and I got worried.”  
“So you came to the studios?”  
“Yeah. Because I know this is where you come late at night. Don’t think I haven’t stalked where you’ve gone before Chan- you know how I keep tabs on everyone some way or another, you particularly… for situations just like this.”

Chan snorted “Well I’m fine, can’t you see? Go back home before the kids break something, ok?” he finished feeling annoyed with his hyung more than ever. He really was just exhausted and needed to finish this one part and he was done, and now Woojin had messed up his concentration.  
And how dare he follow me without my permission?

He pulled out of Woojin’s grip to stand directly in front of the mirror again, reversing the music to start again for the a-millionth-time.  
“Chan, this isn’t healthy. Please just come back home.”  
Chan gritted his teeth in annoyance, closing his eyes to keep himself from exploding.  
“Chan.”

“Leave me alone! I swear to fucking god Woojin!” he screamed, throwing his hands down into fists. His anger shaking the whole studio, probably loud enough for anyone miles down the hallway to hear clear as day, but goddammit he didn’t give a shit anymore.  
He just wanted Woojin gone.

He spun around, furious.  
Woojin’s expression hadn’t even changed, his hands now stuffed deeply into the pocket of his hoodie, his dark eyes following Chan’s movements with no emotion.  
“Tell you what,” Woojin said calmly, taking a step forward, the sound of his shoe falling much like a tornado siren in Chan’s muddled mind. “I’ll make you a deal.”  
Chan gulped, suddenly unsure where his confidence had slipped off too, why did he yell? Woojin did nothing wrong, what’s wrong with him?  
“W-what deal?” Chan stuttered, shrinking under Woojin’s slowly consuming shadow.

“If you can dance, the whole choreography, correctly, I will let what you just said to me slide. But if you fail, there will be consciences.”

“Consciences?”

Woojin’s eyes burned through his skin, making him shiver. Maybe it was the air-con, and the sweat that soaked his shirt and clothes combined, but Chan couldn’t shake the second-hand embarrassment from it as the older boy just continued to stare.

“Yes. Now start.” His eyes gleaming in the low light, the bags under his eyes hollowing them to sharp points, making his legs feel like jelly.  
He staggered somewhat as the music began, unable to shake the vile feeling of disappointment that crawled under his skin when he missed a few beats and practically stumbled over his own feet, but Woojin remained silent throughout it all.  
He didn’t even know why exactly he was dancing, but once the music stopped he felt himself drop to the ground.  
Oh.

Chan desperately tried to intake air, the dry feeling in his throat painful with each break, his limbs had failed him as he scrabbled on the tarmac mats helplessly.  
He heard a sigh as Woojin dropped down next to him, and laid a hand comfortingly on his back, rubbing it gently to calm the rattling coughs coming from his leader. “Sorry I pushed you, I knew you wouldn’t stop otherwise,” Woojin said, and Chan hated how it was true. “Deep breaths Channie, here’s some water.”  
Chan swiped the water bottle from the older boy’s hands, and drank desperately, knowing he would probably feel sick after so much cold water. It seemed Woojin had the same thoughts because he took hold of the bottle instead and tilted it back to let him breathe, only letting him drink again when Chan whined and scraped his nails against the mats, desperate to quench the sandpaper feel in his throat. He drank gratefully from the bottle, eyes closed in concentration as strong hands help him up and comforted him.

Woojin just continued to rub circles on his back, smiling softly to himself when he pulled the bottle free of the other boy's lips..  
“’M sorry, h-hyung,” Chan said through a hiccup, wiping his eyes of a sudden burst of tears.  
“It’s okay, I know you're just tired.”  
“I still yelled though…”  
“You did, but I know you won’t do it again. So come on let’s go home, I’ll call a cab.”  
He nodded weakly in response, allowing the eldest to help prop him up under the armpits and lift him up. Woojin held tightly to his arm and guided him back out of the studio, Chan’s backpack in his other hand.  
“I was mean,” he said, pouting as he turned the lights off in the studio and closed the door behind them.  
“You sound like a kid Chan, I said it’s fine,” he said with a smile.  
“I know, but I’ve never been mean to you hyung...”

Woojin lifted a brow and laughed, holding on tighter to the boy’s arm when he stumbled over his own two feet, how innocent. “Aish, there’s a first time for anything, let’s just get home.”  
Some time passed as they made their way outside of the building, and sat on the curb of the street, awaiting their taxi to come to pick them up.  
It was the early morning hours now, barely any cars where on the roads at this time, that meant a taxi would probably cost nearly double, it made Chan feel even worse knowing the money would come out of Woojin’s already very shallow pocket.  
“Oh yeah,” Woojin said suddenly, breaking the silence of the moment whilst pulling out a small candy cigarette from his back pocket, “I forgot to mention one of the reasons I came here.”

 

Chan lifted his eyes from the sidewalk, hearing the taxi begin to roll up, nearly deafening Woojin’s next words.

“Hyunjin got in a fight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it <3  
> I was considering making a smut scene, but I decided I feel to uncomfortable about doing that because I know Stray Kids are pretty 'woke' on what their fans do lmao, I don't want them to ever stumble across this and be like "wtf". 
> 
> So yeah, no smut, but there will be heated scenes in the future maybe?  
> Also this is probably only going to be a few more chapters long and I'll finish it, so thank you for sticking around, love y'all!!!!


	6. Hyunjin's answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin tells Woojin the morbid truth about him and Changbin's fight.
> 
> Woojin begins to wonder if maybe Hyunjin had good reason to punch the rapper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am sorry my updates come slowly nowadays, I am really insecure about the stuff I wrote recently, so I may come back and completely overhaul this chapter- not sure yet.  
> But yeah :(  
> Angst has arrived in full force.

Hyunjin was sat on the edge of the counter, the cut over his eye flowing freely unto a cotton wad, his lip split and bitten, eye beginning to welt and darken. His delicate features for the first time Chan saw; was now battered and worn looking.  
A gleam of sweat was still coating the boy’s pale complexion, making him look sickly and ill, it made his stomach churn in worry.  
The group was a mess. They were arguing left right and centre simply trying to figure out exactly what happened between him and Changbin while everyone was asleep.  
Now they were both separated into different rooms, Changbin was seated in the dimly lit lounge distraught with anger and annoyance.  
Whilst Hyunjin sat on the edge of the cold counter, the kitchen usually warm and comforting now cold and uninviting, filled with a thick stifling air.

During the dead of the night the group had awoken to yells and smashing, quick to discover it was Hyunjin and Changbin (simply put;) beating the hell out of each other.  
Once the pair had finally been pulled apart, spitting insults and screaming, they fell silent and refused to explain.

Chan had no idea what to do, he never expected his group to fight, at least not physically. As a leader, he was lost, and scared. “What do I do Woojin…” he whispered staring at his shoes.  
He was already exhausted, and now this? What was he supposed to do in this situation?  
Woojin pressed comfortingly against his side as he stood in the doorway to the kitchen, watching with him as Felix tended to Hyunjin’s wounds quietly, the heavy silence of the kitchen somehow worse than the yelling in the loungeroom.  
“I don’t know Channie,” Woojin said, resting his head on Chan’s shoulder and leaning closer to offer comfort. “why don’t you go talk to Changbin first, go calm him down, I’ll talk to Hyunjin.”  
Chan nodded, leaning back into the older boy’s touch for a minute longer before slipping away from his grasp and headed towards the lounge room.  
He hated letting the leader go so easily. He couldn’t image how stressed he must be feeling.  
But this issue needed to be resolved one way or another.

Woojin turned to look at the two boys in the kitchen, noticing how sad and empty Hyunjin’s eyes seemed as they followed Felix’s hands. Barely reacting when Felix pressed disinfectant into the cut above his eye.  
He sighed and pushed off from the doorframe, walking up behind Felix quietly before giving him a tap on the shoulder.  
The boy turned and looked up a little startled “Hyung,” He addressed, still holding a wad of cotton and disinfectant.  
“Can I speak to Hyunjin privately for a moment? Are you finished?” He said with a smile, knowing that it wasn’t just Hyunjin and Changbin who was affected, Felix was shaken up as well. But the boy always did a good job of hiding it despite the red-rimmed eyes and distant look.  
A single smile from that boy could send any worry into the abyss, but after a while, the effect wore off- he couldn't fake forever.  
“Yes, I am nearly done, let me just put a band-aid on,” Felix said with a wobbly smile, reaching for a packet of band-aids.  
“What one do you want Hyunjinnie?” Felix asked showing the packet his hyung.  
Hyunjin’s face hinted at a smile as he pointed to the blue one. The first smile Woojin had seen the boy pull since the fight.  
“Okie.” The Australian said cutely but Woojin could tell it a was a bluff, sticking his tongue out as he focused to put the band-aid carefully over his brow, trying not to put the sticky part over Hyunjin’s eyebrow. 

“All done,” he said turning back to Woojin, “call out if you need anything more.”  
“Okay,” Hyunjin replied softly, eyes glassy as Felix slipped out of the kitchen and out of sight.

 

“Hyunjin,” Woojin said, patting the back of the boy’s head, leaning his forehead against theirs, “what happened…”  
As soon as Felix left the room, Hyunjin’s shoulders fell, his eyes became downcast, and he began to shake- whether from pain or fatigue he wasn’t sure.  
It didn’t take to long before the boy was crying, which was no surprise, the boy had a trigger reaction with his tears over even the smallest things. He was so sensitive and gentle, Woojin always worried about him and how he would deal with things if he or the others weren’t there to pick him up after.  
“I-I am s-sorry hyung… I got s-so so mad.”  
“Why did you get mad Jinnie?” he asked, pulling back, putting a comforting hand over one of Hyunjin’s, encasing it with warmth.  
“He was s-so mean, I got so angry,” Hyunjin hiccupped, wiping his eyes clear or tears.  
“Who?”  
“Changbin.”  
Woojin mentally noted the lack of honorifics but said nothing to urge them to continue.

“Last night Changbin came home with Felix and Felix looked so sad hyungie, I can’t even ex-explain how sad he looked,” Hyunjin said, his voice beginning to return a little more.  
“And I as-asked him about it, and he cr-cried hyung, he fell apart in my arms and I had no idea what to do, so I just held him there…” the boy explained vividly, never being scared to share his words with the eldest.  
“What did Felix say was wrong?” he asked, rubbing a hand over the boy’s back, growing more concerned knowing the younger Australian was involved in this whole thing too.

“ _Changbin called Felix a faggot, Woojin…_ ”  
Woojin’s eyes flew wide with surprise, the words shocking him so much he momentarily stopped rubbing Hyunjin’s back.  
“So, I sat there, with him, just holding him…” the boy’s words were soft now, but rising in anger “once he was asleep, I couldn’t sleep, so I got up to get a drink, and saw Changbin in the lounge room- working on rap, or something- I don’t know I didn’t pay attention.  
And I just… lost it. Before I knew it, I was trying to throw him across the room, and possibly planned to hurt him more if the group hadn’t pulled me off him. Something just snapped in me when I saw his face, I don’t even know what the fuck came over me, it was so scary- like I didn’t even control myself.”

Woojin wasn’t even sure how to respond to that. How could he scold someone when he would’ve probably done the exact same thing if he were in their situation?  
What if someone had called Chan something like that?  
He shook the thoughts grimly and looked back up to Hyunjin’s eyes, which were wide and visibly distressed with mixed emotions.  
He was definitely going to need to have a talk with Changbin…

“In what situation did Changbin call Felix that? Can you explain more? I need more context.” He wanted to offer Hyunjin more comfort, but right now he needed some more answers.  
“I don’t know hyung, he was absolutely shattered… I could barely get any information out of him after he told me he passed out and I put him into bed, so I wouldn’t know. I acted without thinking...”  
Woojin nodded, stroking his hair comfortingly, knowing Hyunjin found that calming.  
“Alright, thank you Hyunjinnie.”

Hyunjin nodded with a pout, “Can I have Felix back in here?”  
“Does he know why you hit Changbin yet?”  
“No. But I think he has guesses, I want to tell him and apologise… I guess- I don't think he wanted this to happen.”  
“Are you sure you can deal with that conversation on your own?”  
“Yeah,” He nodded.

Woojin sighed, giving him a quick pat on the shoulder, and headed for the exit of the kitchen, “I’ll call him in.”  
“Thanks, hyung.”

 

He moved his way down the hall, massaging his temple, trying to simply process the information he had received. It was all so overwhelming- god knows what Chan was dealing with right now, at least the yelling had stopped from the lounge room now, so that was probably a good sign.  
Woojin must have stood in the hallway for awhile unaware of the passing time, or the world around him while his head spun.  
“Hyung,” a voice called him from his thoughts before he could reach his destination, looking up with surprise.  
It was Jeongin, he looked drained, hair splayed in every which way, eyebags heavy. It was too early for the boys to be up he thought to himself, he wanted to wrap them up and get them to bed as soon as he could. Hoping this whole situation would blow over soon.  
“Innie,” He said reached out to engulf them in a hug immediately as an instinctual reaction to seeing them look so vulnerable.  
The boy melted against him, falling limp in his arms with exhaustion, “What’s going on hyung?” he said with a yawn against the fabric of his shirt.  
“We aren’t sure. Why don’t you go try to get some rest?”  
Jeongin nodded but didn’t move, so Woojin took that as an indication he needed to carry them (which really was no problem because Jeongin practically weighed no less than bird bones.)  
He hoisted the boy into the air bridal style and held them close as he continued his trip down the hall.

Jeongin seemed to have a rather strange ability to sleep like a rock within a few seconds, so it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence Woojin had to carry the boy. You can thank the maknae for the fact he had any muscle at all.

 

He popped his head into the messy dorm room and spotted Felix and Seungmin sitting on the edge of Jeongin’s bed and motioned for them to move.  
With a gentle thump, he let the maknae slip from his grip and into the softness of the pillows and linens, “Try rest.” He whispered, thumbing a strand of hair out of the boy’s eyes.  
Usually, Jeongin was quite mature, he could read situations well- nearly as well as him and Chan, but as soon as he was tired, he can never function properly till a nap.  
Jeongin mumbled and snuggled deep into the blankets in response.

He straightened and turned to the two other boys, both watching him with wide eyes.  
“Felix, Hyunjin would like to talk to you, could you go see him?”  
Felix nodded and instantly skittered away, leaving just him and Seungmin and the quickly drifting to sleep maknae.

 

“How are you holding up Minnie?” He said kindly, giving their thigh a pat.  
“Badly,” Seungmin said honestly, “I am scared, I never thought we would fight like this.”  
“Me neither, but we will be okay.” The eldest said calmly, letting his fingers trace patterns on the boy’s puppy pyjamas. Everyone was still aptly dressed for sleep, even Woojin was wearing his nightly clothes as well despite leaving to fetch Chan, as he was only dressed in a hoodie and track pants.  
“You might want to try to get some sleep, we can discuss this all in the morning,” Woojin said after a long silence, watching as the boy’s head occasionally jerked up and out of falling asleep.  
Seungmin nodded, “Yeah, thanks for putting Jeongin to bed, I think he’s the most stressed out of all of us… you should’ve seen how scared he looked when you left.”

He cringed at the memory of leaving to get Chan, he hated how he had to leave his dongsaengs in charge of the whole thing while he was gone. It wasn’t like he could send any of the others, besides Minho- but let’s be real. He isn’t exactly responsible or much better than the rest of the crackhead group.

 

With a few soft goodnights, Woojin made for the door, watching quietly from the doorframe as Seungmin changed beds to sleep with Jeongin instead. Finding it rather sweet how quickly the two clung to each other like their lives depended on it, and decided it was better to leave when he noticed Seungmin begin to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yea,,, next chapter is gonna be even more angsty... prewarning for trigger warnings and stuff, but it's skippable, (it's like a filler chapter.)  
> Anyway, I hoped you guys found this chapter alright, it felt pretty confined, not much environment stuff, just a lot of character interactions.  
> Also, this bit isn't going to last long, I needed an arc to follow to make the story more interesting, so it will get back to Woochan soon.
> 
> (Since I haTE pushing ships onto people when they don't like them, -nothing is worse than reading a fic and loving the person's fic for when they write 1 couple, but hating it when they write the other- I'll try keep the second ship a little more as a sidedish. <3)


	7. Felix's heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback of Felix's night previous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 𝙏𝙍𝙄𝙂𝙂𝙀𝙍 𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙏𝙀𝙍
> 
> >𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱, 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭.<  
> This chapter contains: scratching.
> 
>  
> 
> Now I was a little unsure on how to even begin with this chapter, recently I've been having a lot of returning bad thoughts, this whole Felix arc is kind of based on real-life experiences. So I do apologise if this isn't what you all signed up for when you wanted a fluffy WooChan fic- I felt like I needed a dark subject to ground it, fluff happens soon I promise... <3

It was late, Felix could feel his throat threatening to close in with a sob.  
His legs felt like jelly, his body aching with a pain so surreal, his mind swimming, sinking, drowning.  
The words still rang in his head like a church bell, he couldn’t think logically as he scrabbled helplessly on the bathroom floor, trying to collect his dignity, to piece himself together bit by bit.  
The tiles were so cold, it might as well have been scattered with needles- not that he would’ve felt it. 

He sobbed.  
It was quiet at first as he rested his eyes into the knees of his jeans, but it soon got louder, and louder, until wails began to shiver off the walls. Felix felt like a hurricane of emotions, destructive and dangerous as he slammed down on any part of his filthy body he could, trying to rip his skin open with desperation to cleanse the disgusting feeling of disappointment from his body.  
He wanted it to stop.  
The skin burned as he scratched against it feverishly, it hurt like hell, but he didn’t feel like stopping when red welts began to blossom across his pale skin. It only filled him with morbid satisfaction.  
Deeper and deeper he wanted to see the colour of roses, of ruby, of love, of hatred and anger.  
He wanted to see it.  
He wanted to see the filthy truth.

There was a knock.  
It broke his concentration as a voice cut through the deafening voices in his head effortlessly like a knife through butter, “Felix? Is that you?”  
He held his shaky breath, freezing cold tears hanging off the end of his nose, and glistening his rosy bitten lips.  
“Lixie? Can you open up? It’s me, Hyunjin hyung.”  
Felix sobbed again involuntarily at the voice, a voice of comfort, of his hyung.  
“I know you’re in there, please let me in Lixie,” Hyunjin said softly through the door, clear sadness and worry laced through his gentle voice.

Felix gripped at his chest and cried again, he just wanted a fucking hug.  
With slow movements, he dragged himself up with the help of the sink edge, his body heavy with a mental weight as he reached for the silver door handle.  
He twisted it open and peeked outside with red-rimmed eyes, filled with a sorrow Hyunjin could never explain. The all-absorbing melancholy dark eyes making the whole world tumble around him.  
“Oh, baby,” Hyunjin said, immediately melting at the sight of him, taking a few steps forward, eyes darting all over his face with worry, trying to find a story in Felix’s eyes, trying to find the truth.  
“Oh, my sweet little Lixie…” he said as Felix closed the door behind him and locked it, moving to sit back in his corner on the floor.  
Hyunjin joined him, sitting parallel, hands hovering just over his leg- asking for permission to touch him attentively.

Felix was still for a while, watching his hands hovering considerately, before inching forwards with his own as an indication; yes, he wanted this.  
Hyunjin took his hands and held them impossibly tight, the warmth they provided calming Felix’s mind somewhat with the distraction. He sobbed again at the feeling of Hyunjin’s thumb tracing his knuckles and small fingers.  
Hyunjin didn’t comment on the welts that covered up his arms and over his exposed shoulders.  
He loved how his hands rested in Hyunjin’s he noticed, he loved how they disappeared into theirs.

“What happened baby?”  
Felix felt tears drop from his eyes at the mention of it, his fingers tightening around the others without noticing.  
“It’s s-stupid.” He said with an unsteady voice.  
“It’s not stupid if it makes you cry, whatever it is- it hurt you. And if it hurts you, it’s not stupid.”  
“You’ll hate me.”  
“I would never hate you, it’s impossible to hate you. You’re our sunshine.”  
“I don’t feel like sunshine right now.”  
“That’s okay, you don’t need to be our sunshine all the time.”

Felix cried harder and reached forwards to his hyung, feeling like a child as he made grabby motions.  
He wanted that hug.

Within seconds he felt himself disappear into Hyunjin’s chest, grabbing around his torso so tightly he’d be surprised if they could breathe. The boy’s arms encasing him in a feeling of safety and security like a blanket, his pretty hands stroking through his hair and down his back comfortingly.  
“I’m here for you,” Hyunjin whispered, rocking him as Felix continued to let out all his emotions into his chest, including a mixture of tears, snot, and saliva- not that he cared. “it’s okay.”  
It felt like hours, of just screaming into the void.  
God knows how anybody in the dorm was still asleep.

But eventually, the anger and the sadness, like the ocean, began to recede and pull away. Evaporating into thin air, till Felix couldn’t even bring it back if he wanted too. He felt empty as he rested his head quietly onto Hyunjin’s shoulder, the occasional sniffle reminding both of them of the last few minutes had; in fact, happened.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Hyunjin’s asked softly, nudging his head against Felix’s comfortingly.

The words he usually dreaded to hear, the moment when your comfort becomes your hell, and your fear. As you have to face your problems, to give an explanation to why you wasted someone’s time with crying to them.  
But something inside him stirred in his exhausted state, as his eyes began to haze and drift lazily around the room and across Hyunjin’s features as he leaned back to admire them.  
He didn’t feel that dread when he looked into Hyunjin’s dark eyes.  
He didn’t feel that dread as Hyunjin laced his fingers through his and pushed the hair from his eyes lovingly.  
He didn’t feel that dread as his arms wrapped him up, making him feel so small in such a damn good way. Like he didn’t need to feel strong for once, he could just feel weak and Hyunjin could just hold him.

“It’s not my fault hyung…” he slurred, feeling a tear roll from his eye. “I never wanted this.”  
“Never wanted what?” Hyunjin asked softly, beginning to notice as the boy drifted in and out of consciousness.  
“I didn’t want to be born this way…” Felix said dropping his eyes, “Changbinnie was right, I am just a faggot.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened in surprise at the words, “Changbin called you w-what?”  
“A fucking faggot, and he’s right, I do act like one. Like a disgusting fag who just wa-“  
“Stop.” Hyunjin said, shaking him, for this first time with tears in his own eyes, “You are not any of those things, you hear me? You're beautiful, and you don’t need anyone to validate you on that, not even me and especially not Changbin.”

Felix blinked, looking surprised at Hyunjin’s dedication in his words. Watching in fascination as tears slipped from his hyung’s dark eyes.  
“I am so sorry he called you that,” Hyunjin said, leaning forward to touch forehead with him, his own tears joining Felix’s. “It must have felt awful.”  
“Yeah.” He replied, feeling choked.

For many minutes they sat like that.  
Foreheads connected as Hyunjin rocked him gently back and forth, even despite the uncomfortable space, Felix never felt more relaxed and warmer in his life.   
It didn’t take him much time to drift off to sleep in his hyungs arms, exhaustion finally winding its way into his slowed breathing, pushed into unconscious comfortingly by Hyunjin’s soft touches. He almost swore in his dreamy haze he heard an ‘I love you.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're having a hard time I just know I love you, even if your dumbass doesn't believe it I damn well do, and I know your probably an amazing person- you're doing your best, and that's all that matters, you can do this. I love you.
> 
> The next chapter will hopefully 'complete' the story arc, and it will return to fluff and crack-headary haha, sorry for getting so deep on y'all, its been a hard month <3


	8. >IMPORTANT NOTICE by creator<

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Updates have been halted on all current fics, and I am so so incredibly sorry, life has really been biting me in the ass.  
> I will resume updates as soon as I possibly can.  
> Please read.

#### Hello everyone,

> This is an apology for the lack of updates...
> 
> Recently I have been incredibly busy with my life and have found it hard to update this fic _(or any of my others for that matter.)_  
>  BUT! I do not plan to drop this fic or any of my others, I promise you production is blazing away in the background and soon I will have plenty of content for you all! I will be resuming more frequent updates as soon as I can. 
> 
> Thank you for always supporting my works, and giving me love, everything you guys do and comment means so so so much to me, writing these fics for you guys really gives me a light to my life.

**Yours sincerely- Hyunjjins.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will delete this chapter when I resume updating again.  
> Which hopefully will be in a week from now when I get my computer back. Love you guys so much, thank you for all your support. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed <33
> 
> Question: what did you think Changbin was going to ask Chan? :)


End file.
